"God has been revealing himself to me, through my kids over and over and over again. I see a picture of how He loves us through how I love my children. Knowing that it's that much more, and more than I can ever grasp, God's character is amazing."
Saturday, September 27, 2014
That much more
"God has been revealing himself to me, through my kids over and over and over again. I see a picture of how He loves us through how I love my children. Knowing that it's that much more, and more than I can ever grasp, God's character is amazing."
Sunday, September 14, 2014
I know that we are right where we are supposed to be
Technically not in Salt Lake anymore, but this was too amazing not to share
We left Utah on August 12th and arrived in Georgia on August 18th. Before, during, and since then, the Lord has been reconfirming to us that this has all been orchestrated by Him. I could probably share a different story every other day, but I have refrained because my head is still just reeling from the past two and a half months of our lives. However, this one is so fresh and I want to share what the Lord did to reassure us this weekend.
I attended a women's conference at a church about 45 minutes from where we are staying. I went with a group of women from our new home church. When I was registered to attend several weeks ago, I didn't know that the guest speaker was Karyn Johnson from the House of Ruth (adoption) ministry in Downey, California. Memories flooded back from the hardest year of our lives when I heard that name. You see, in 2006, after two years of trying to have a baby, we suffered two miscarriages within six months of each other, the last being in October. Two months later, just days before Christmas, we received a phone call that connected us with Karyn. She had a very special situation with a birth mother who specifically needed an adoptive family in Utah. Without going into all the details, we were one of two couples being considered. We were excited over the thought that maybe this would be the way God would answer our prayers to have children! We decided that if we were chosen, we would name the baby boy Malachi. You can imagine the depth of despair we faced when we found out that we were not chosen.
We were broken and we were hurting. I just didn't understand why a loving God would allow such heartbreak into our lives over and over again. I was so desperate for a child of my own that I didn't stop to look at all of the loving relationships I had all around me. I went into a depression that I didn't want to admit that I had. I shut down and pushed people away. I was truly a person that was the unloveliest of the unlovely.
Over the course of the next several months, we went through a barrage of testing to see what could be wrong with us. Although we did receive some answers from the medical field, we never received peace. In August of 2007, we were done with this fight. We were physically, mentally, and spiritually broken. We made the decision to stop forcing the situation and to just trust God's plan for our lives. Over the course of the next year, the Lord truly released me from the unhealthy obsession I had with having a baby. I didn't give up hope, but I finally smashed that idol and had truly found peace. A year after we had let go of what we thought was our control, in August of 2008, we discovered that I was pregnant with our miracle baby, Judah. She was born in April of 2009.
Over the years, I have still had questions in my mind as to why we had to go through the things we did, but they say that hindsight is 20/20, right? I received a glimpse of that answer yesterday, in regards to the baby we wanted to adopt all those years ago.
I was invited into a room with the pastor's wives where we ate lunch. I sat directly across from Karyn and was having an internal debate on whether or not I should even mention to her that our paths had crossed back in 2006. I got up the nerve and nonchalantly reminded her of our brief time of phone communication back then. She sat back in her chair with a look of confusion on her face. I started to turn red because I felt horrible that I had put her on the spot. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she kept looking at my name tag and then looking at my face. Certainly, she didn't remember me and was wracking her brain trying to place me. Without looking away from me, she yanked on her friend's arm who had come with her to the conference from California. She said, "Connie, do you remember the couple from Utah that was being considered to adopt Bonisha's baby?" Connie looked at her and said, "Well yes! Of course I do!" Karyn pointed across the table at me and said, "This is the woman, Mandy." Connie sat down in her chair and told me that she is Bonisha's mother. We all just stared at each other in amazement!
Connie filled me in on the events that had taken place, and then told me that before Bonisha had handed her newborn baby over to the adoptive parents, she had named him Malachi. When I told them that Malachi was the name we had chosen for him as well, we all got goose bumps. Oh, just wait! It gets better!!! I told them that God had granted the desire of our hearts and gave us two children, the first being named Judah, which means "praise." Before I could even tell them our son's name, their jaws dropped to the table. The adoptive parents changed Malachi's name. Can you guess? They named him Judah. I even got to see a picture of him!
We never expected that this story would have ever come full circle, but our loving Shepherd poured out his love on us once again to reconfirm to us that He guided us here. That meeting wouldn't have taken place if the Lord hadn't brought us here when He did. I just know that He was looking in on our time together yesterday with a loving smile on His face, saying, "You see, my child? I DO have plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
We are truly, truly, truly blessed. And I know that we are right where we are supposed to be.
We left Utah on August 12th and arrived in Georgia on August 18th. Before, during, and since then, the Lord has been reconfirming to us that this has all been orchestrated by Him. I could probably share a different story every other day, but I have refrained because my head is still just reeling from the past two and a half months of our lives. However, this one is so fresh and I want to share what the Lord did to reassure us this weekend.
I attended a women's conference at a church about 45 minutes from where we are staying. I went with a group of women from our new home church. When I was registered to attend several weeks ago, I didn't know that the guest speaker was Karyn Johnson from the House of Ruth (adoption) ministry in Downey, California. Memories flooded back from the hardest year of our lives when I heard that name. You see, in 2006, after two years of trying to have a baby, we suffered two miscarriages within six months of each other, the last being in October. Two months later, just days before Christmas, we received a phone call that connected us with Karyn. She had a very special situation with a birth mother who specifically needed an adoptive family in Utah. Without going into all the details, we were one of two couples being considered. We were excited over the thought that maybe this would be the way God would answer our prayers to have children! We decided that if we were chosen, we would name the baby boy Malachi. You can imagine the depth of despair we faced when we found out that we were not chosen.
We were broken and we were hurting. I just didn't understand why a loving God would allow such heartbreak into our lives over and over again. I was so desperate for a child of my own that I didn't stop to look at all of the loving relationships I had all around me. I went into a depression that I didn't want to admit that I had. I shut down and pushed people away. I was truly a person that was the unloveliest of the unlovely.
Over the course of the next several months, we went through a barrage of testing to see what could be wrong with us. Although we did receive some answers from the medical field, we never received peace. In August of 2007, we were done with this fight. We were physically, mentally, and spiritually broken. We made the decision to stop forcing the situation and to just trust God's plan for our lives. Over the course of the next year, the Lord truly released me from the unhealthy obsession I had with having a baby. I didn't give up hope, but I finally smashed that idol and had truly found peace. A year after we had let go of what we thought was our control, in August of 2008, we discovered that I was pregnant with our miracle baby, Judah. She was born in April of 2009.
Over the years, I have still had questions in my mind as to why we had to go through the things we did, but they say that hindsight is 20/20, right? I received a glimpse of that answer yesterday, in regards to the baby we wanted to adopt all those years ago.
I was invited into a room with the pastor's wives where we ate lunch. I sat directly across from Karyn and was having an internal debate on whether or not I should even mention to her that our paths had crossed back in 2006. I got up the nerve and nonchalantly reminded her of our brief time of phone communication back then. She sat back in her chair with a look of confusion on her face. I started to turn red because I felt horrible that I had put her on the spot. I could see the wheels turning in her head as she kept looking at my name tag and then looking at my face. Certainly, she didn't remember me and was wracking her brain trying to place me. Without looking away from me, she yanked on her friend's arm who had come with her to the conference from California. She said, "Connie, do you remember the couple from Utah that was being considered to adopt Bonisha's baby?" Connie looked at her and said, "Well yes! Of course I do!" Karyn pointed across the table at me and said, "This is the woman, Mandy." Connie sat down in her chair and told me that she is Bonisha's mother. We all just stared at each other in amazement!
Connie filled me in on the events that had taken place, and then told me that before Bonisha had handed her newborn baby over to the adoptive parents, she had named him Malachi. When I told them that Malachi was the name we had chosen for him as well, we all got goose bumps. Oh, just wait! It gets better!!! I told them that God had granted the desire of our hearts and gave us two children, the first being named Judah, which means "praise." Before I could even tell them our son's name, their jaws dropped to the table. The adoptive parents changed Malachi's name. Can you guess? They named him Judah. I even got to see a picture of him!
We never expected that this story would have ever come full circle, but our loving Shepherd poured out his love on us once again to reconfirm to us that He guided us here. That meeting wouldn't have taken place if the Lord hadn't brought us here when He did. I just know that He was looking in on our time together yesterday with a loving smile on His face, saying, "You see, my child? I DO have plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."
We are truly, truly, truly blessed. And I know that we are right where we are supposed to be.
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Saturday, August 30, 2014
Him not me
"As a Christian, I realize I am one only by God's grace. Jesus is not my savior because I'm good. He's my savior because He is good. My sin separated me from God, and God showed grace by sending Jesus to atone for and take away my sin so I can have a relationship with Him and call my self a "Christian" - a follower of Jesus Christ. My life is changed, and I'm no longer controlled by sin, but filled with the Spirit of God and free to be the man God planned for me to become."
Thursday, August 14, 2014
The Search for Peace
I have been pondering Robin Williams death like most of America since it happened. It is truly heartbreaking. I think one of the things that is so hard for most of America to understand is how can someone who has everything that this world has to offer, who lead a good life, and helped so many people in so many different ways not find peace and fulfillment?
The quote that struck me most about the article below is the constant fear that he was living in. I think everyone can relate to that, constant fear and having to be on constant watch not to let the world get the better of you. However, there is hope, you don't need to live in constant fear, defeat, or depression. Jesus died so that He can fill that need you have. God made these needs in us so that we can turn to Him and be completely fulfilled, not just appeased, so that we can have joy in the midst of sorrow, and so that we can have that peace in the midst of a world that seems to offer no solace for the weary.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
http://www.alternativenation.net/?p=52811
The quote that struck me most about the article below is the constant fear that he was living in. I think everyone can relate to that, constant fear and having to be on constant watch not to let the world get the better of you. However, there is hope, you don't need to live in constant fear, defeat, or depression. Jesus died so that He can fill that need you have. God made these needs in us so that we can turn to Him and be completely fulfilled, not just appeased, so that we can have joy in the midst of sorrow, and so that we can have that peace in the midst of a world that seems to offer no solace for the weary.
John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.
http://www.alternativenation.net/?p=52811
Friday, August 8, 2014
The Best Adventure
Following God's leading is the best adventure that you will ever have in your life. Keep pressing into Jesus.
Sunday, August 3, 2014
Faithfulness
"I think we'll both agree that, just the more we love Him the more we realize His faithfulness is everything."
"Yea that's the word that comes to my mind. More than ever, how faithful He is. He's faithful and that means that he is fully worthy of our faith and trust."
"And what the Word says about joy it is not based on circumstance.We can have joy in the darkest of times."
Sunday, July 27, 2014
What do I mean when I say Christian?
Welcome to this blog. I was inspired by the Humans of New York website and the simplicity of it that touched so many people. Being a Bible believing Christian, I wanted to show how the simple love of Christ can transform people's lives. Using my passion for photography I hope to do that here.
However, you might be asking what does she mean when she says Christian? I do not use the term Christian here lightly. What I mean when I say Christian is someone who believes that Jesus Christ is the one and only son of God, part of the trinity, who came to this earth to die for your sins, and you have accepted this gift and are now following Him. Christians also believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God - nothing that you can do except accepting Jesus' gift of salvation can get you into heaven - no good works, not being a good person or following a set of rules.
I hope you find this enlightening and see that Christians are not perfect, but are sinners who have been transformed by the love of Christ.
However, you might be asking what does she mean when she says Christian? I do not use the term Christian here lightly. What I mean when I say Christian is someone who believes that Jesus Christ is the one and only son of God, part of the trinity, who came to this earth to die for your sins, and you have accepted this gift and are now following Him. Christians also believe that the Bible is the infallible word of God - nothing that you can do except accepting Jesus' gift of salvation can get you into heaven - no good works, not being a good person or following a set of rules.
I hope you find this enlightening and see that Christians are not perfect, but are sinners who have been transformed by the love of Christ.
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